Just Stop Comparing: Three Ways to Stop Being So Hard On Yourself
If there is one thing that we all do – it’s compare ourselves to others. We look at other women’s clothes, their bodies, their houses, everything. And we usually end up judging ourselves to be worse.
Unfortunately, many of you are probably doing the same thing with your businesses. You are comparing your business achievements to the successes of others, and it is causing you to feel bad about what you have accomplished.
You fill your program with eight people. Then you hear how your colleague put 20 people into her program. Suddenly, your eight hard-earned participants appear much less important.
You work your tail off one month and earn $5,000 for the first time. Then you read a newsletter about someone’s $20,000 launch. Your momentary happiness turns into more pressure to work harder and do more.
The problem with this kind of comparison is that you never stop to enjoy your own milestones. You are so busy trying to re-create someone else’s numbers that you can’t stop and enjoy your own.
The truth is that everyone started small. And those people who you admire and compare yourself to were once in your shoes.
Here’s the key: you must learn to appreciate your milestones along the road to bigger successes. If you don’t get excited about eight people in the room, you probably won’t ever attract 100 people. Namely because you’ll burn yourself out with all of your frustration about not getting “there”.
So here are three steps to help yourself enjoy your own milestones and appreciate the journey (so cliché but so necessary):
1. Turn Comparison into Inspiration. When someone else accomplishes what you want, it is a sign that you can do it too. Use their success to inspire and help move you forward. If no one was succeeding, that would be a good sign that the market didn’t support that type of success (and you should run the other way fast).
2. Take Notes. Learn from other successful people. This can be in the form of mentorships, coaching or just observing. Modeling is still the best form of learning.
3. The Universe Customizes Its Lessons. I strongly believe that your business is your best teacher on every level. The struggles and discoveries you gain from your business will teach you what you are supposed to be discovering in life. So you can’t always question why you are having trouble in one area and someone else has it easy. Their lessons are different from yours. And the only way to get those lessons is to go through those struggles. You must learn your specific lessons. The answer to “why me” may not be apparent now, but will be someday. Your job is to learn the lesson that is behind it.
The bottom line is that there is no celebration or joy when all you are doing is falling short of someone else (this is especially true if you are the person you are constantly falling short of).
Business is about being present for the long haul and loving each baby step towards your goal. I know it isn’t easy to love those baby steps, but the more you try to be at peace with them the happier you’ll be. So turn a blind eye if you need to – and put yourself at the top of your “She’s Awesome” list.
