She’s Better Than You – What to do When it Feels Like You Just Aren’t Good Enough
Last week I had my Money Brand Breakthrough Intensive in New York City. I had the opportunity to work through money and business issues with every participant. I was amazed at their vulnerability and courage in the process. The breakthroughs were incredible.
One of the things I noticed about many of the participants as well as so many of you is that you put a great deal of pressure on yourself to succeed. And often that pressure can be paralyzing.
Now this pressure comes from various sources – your internal dialogue with yourself, societal pressures, family demands etc.
One source of pressure that seems to plague everyone comes from comparing yourself to others in your field. Someone else made six figures in three months and it is taking you far longer. Another person filled their program with 12 people and you struggled to get 4 people. Someone else had 10 people promote their program for them and you couldn’t get anyone to promote your program at all.
Once you make these comparisons, you start to beat yourself up. You start saying things to yourself like:
What am I doing wrong?
Why isn’t this getting any easier?
What If I’m just not good enough?
Maybe I’m doing things in the wrong order?
Maybe I’m doing the wrong things?
These doubts may then cause the snowball effect – where you start to worry about everything in your business. Will it all work out? Are you heading down a fruitless path?
Before you know it, you’re spending more time worrying then you are working.
Everyone compares themselves to others – no matter how successful she is. The difference is that some use comparison in a healthy way and others do not.
Here’s what to remember if you are prone to comparing yourself to others.
1. You don’t know the whole picture. It is great marketing to claim that one made $500,000 in 18 months – such claims are inspiring and they sell programs and products. However, remember to take everything with a grain of salt. There is always a story behind the headline. No one learned everything overnight.
There is always something that helped that person build her talents. Perhaps this is her second company. Perhaps she spent years perfecting her trade in a corporate setting. Perhaps she grew up doing her trade in her family.
Everyone does the work. Everyone must do the work. Don’t beat yourself up for not moving as fast as someone else. Know that you as long as you are doing the work, you are doing fine. And you don’t know the story behind the headline.
2. There is no secret gateway. There are a lot of people selling “secret gateways” in my industry. If you learn this one thing – then you’ll be able to generate $100,000 in the next two weeks. The truth is there isn’t a “secret gateway”.
This helps when you are comparing yourself to others and assume they know something that you don’t.
Building a business is about learning skill sets, strategies, personal habits and mindset shifts. You keep learning and perfecting all of these at each level of your business as you grow. The faster you learn these, the faster you’ll move from one level to the next.
There isn’t some “secret gateway”, that one killer concept that will move you there faster, especially if you what you want is a sustainable business.
Trust yourself and your business mentor (get one if you don’t have one) and know that as long as you focus on moving forward by doing smart actions that follow a strategic plan – you’ll achieve your goals.
3. Learn from them. I love watching my colleagues soar to new heights. First, it inspires me and lets me know that there is always more to create and innovate. Second, I learn so much from watching them.
When you see someone moving to success quickly, learn from her. Watch her marketing. Watch how she presents herself. Watch how she speaks to her tribe. You may even want to buy a VIP day or a program from her to learn more. I spend thousands of dollars per year on my own master coach. And I spend even more buying programs from other colleagues. As long as I use what I learn, I find that I always at least double my investment.
There will always be those that are innovating around you. Your job is not to try and keep up with them or even try to stay ahead. Your job is to stop comparing and start learning from the wisdom around you.
The next time you compare yourself to someone in an unhealthy way, remember there is a story behind the story, there is no secret gateway and there is always something to learn.
You always have an opportunity to be shrinking or growing. There so much more room for growth when you aren’t bogged down by doubts and self-criticism.
Leave me a comment below and me know how you manage comparisons.
