I’ll meet you in the air – how to get over your fears
I’m about to go into my live event on Saturday in NYC and I must say I’m filled with a combination of jitters and excitement! I thought I’d write a little bit about fear and stepping through it as I enter into this exciting and lovely moment in my business.
Clients often ask me, “Monica, what do you do to get beyond fear? How is it that you are growing so fast without freaking out?”
Fear shows up in many ways in our businesses. Often, we are procrastinating because we are afraid of success, or afraid of failure. Or we don’t ask for help because we are afraid of being too needy. Or we are afraid of believing in ourselves because it goes against what we know.
And here’s the truth as I know it – Fear is totally normal. And if you aren’t feeling a little bit uncomfortable, then you probably aren’t growing. There is no other way to make large leaps in your life or business without stretching beyond your comfort zone. It’s like working your muscles at the gym. In order for your muscles to grow, you must exert them to create minute tears. Then they grow back bigger and stronger. That is what it is like to walk through your fear and do those things you are avoiding in your business.
So how do you work through it? How do you manage to work those muscles without shying away from the soreness?
Well, there are a million answers to that question, but I’m happy to share mine.
Just say “YES”. I decided to say “Yes” this year to trusting my mentor even when she told me to do things that I didn’t know how to do. I decided to say “Yes” to doing whatever it took to reach my goals in my business and my life (while staying within my own positive value system). And I felt the fear and did it anyway. There has been much deep breathing, much freaking out, lots of whining and many days of pouting. These all exist within any entrepreneur’s path. Oh and there have been many things that didn’t work out. But I just keep saying “Yes” to the next task that lies in front of me.
And here’s the other part. I decided to try to take 110% responsibility for everything that happens. That experiment has been very interesting. I’ve caught myself blaming. I’ve caught myself ranting and raving about someone or something. And it’s honestly not a whole lot of fun when I have to bring it back to myself and realize that I need to make a different decision and it’s all up to me.
But here’s the result. I’ve made 1.5 times my income last year in the first six months of this year. And I’m attracting the smartest, sassiest, most lovely clients I’ve ever worked with.
Why?
Because when I keep saying YES to my goals, everything in my world starts to shift to make them happen. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to fill a room. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to attract the most amazing clients. And here’s what’s interesting, because I’m willing to do what it takes, it often doesn’t take extreme effort. It’s when you truly surrender to your goals that they seem the most possible to reach. My life has literally been bending around me to allow the best people to join my team, become my clients and light up my personal life. Don’t get me wrong, I work hard and I put in the effort. But the reward has been delightful, glorious and so sweet. And I’m starting to get used to the discomfort of doing things I don’t know how to do every single day.
For full disclosure, this success was not overnight. I’ve spent years saying “Yes” and having things go haywire. But I do believe it was all of that craziness that led me to where I am today. And I’m not silly enough to think that there won’t be more craziness in the future. I’m taking these moments of sweetness as they come and savoring them fully.
I write this to inspire those of you out there that are trapped or stuck. To let you know that you don’t have to do years of therapy before you become successful (you can just do it at the same time :)). Here’s the steps for you:
1. Get really clear about what your goal is for your business. Start with money and then go deeper. What kind of change do you really want to see in the world? Go deep enough to find the reason that really lights you up and creates an urgency.
2. Say “Yes” to doing whatever it takes to meet that goal (within your own value system of course) every single day.
3. Take 110% responsibility for everything you do. This will transform your business nearly overnight.
4. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Now Jump!
That’s it. I’ll meet you somewhere in the air.
