Finding Your Personal Thrive Formula
One of the most interesting and resonant concepts that I’ve learned about lately is that, as humans, our brains – especially our lizard brains and our subconscious minds – are programmed to survive, not to thrive.
We live in a mindset of always needing to run away from the next bear that’s chasing us – to escape stress, to be better than the next person – so that we can survive in a world full of scary things.
We aren’t actually programmed to choose the healthier versions of what it means to be human, like making space to relax, choosing healthy foods, and spending time with friends.
Ultimately, the (biological!) voices in our heads are always telling us that, if we do those things, we might not be able to survive. We might get thrown out of the communities that we depend on. We might not be able to compete – because we’re not doing enough.
This concept inspired me to create what I call the thrive formula, which is the personalized formula of actions, people, thoughts, and ways of being that allow YOU to thrive.
So how do you develop your personal thrive formula?
First, ask yourself these two questions: During which periods of your life have you felt the most “in-the-flow?” What did those periods have in common?
When I started to think through these questions, a lot of different periods of my life came to mind. I’m going to give you three examples.
One was my freshman year of college. I had spent the summer reading the Bhagavad Gita cover to cover under a beautiful tree in my yard, and I felt deeply connected to spirit.
As I started the year, I was also eating really healthy, swimming, and working out every day. I had the blessings to meet a lot of really great friends during my first year of college – I was surrounded by people, and I loved being physically present and feeling connected.
The second period I thought of was the summer I spent in Cuenca, Ecuador. I spent four weeks there learning Spanish in a total immersion program. I went salsa dancing every single night, and I was surrounded by people I loved.
The third experience was a three-week trip to India in my early twenties. And, again, I was surrounded by people I loved. I was learning every day, I was going to the gym every morning, and I was getting massages a couple of times a week.
Given these three experiences, I noticed that my personal thrive formula includes learning and challenges – always learning; being surrounded by loved ones – my chosen community of friends and family; taking care of myself physically through regular exercise; calling upon a deep spiritual connection every day; and consistent weekly self-care.
That’s my thrive formula. And I know now that when I drift away from that thrive formula, I’m just not as in-the-flow. I’m so much happier when I intentionally create my schedule around my thrive formula.
In fact, just this week, I noticed that I was feeling a little bit lonely and sort of dull. I realized I needed to be with people I cared about, and find a venue for learning and challenges.
So I reached out to five women that I adore, and together we started a book club that includes reading and group exercises. I found myself immediately feeling better.
So my invitation to you this week is to answer those two questions: What were the periods of your life when you felt the most in-the-flow, and what did those periods have in common?
That is how you find your specific thrive formula.
Of course, it’s easier said than done, but once you learn to intentionally follow that formula in your life – both on a small scale and on a large scale – you can start to move way past surviving. You can thrive.
