Identifying Self Sabotage and Overcoming It
We live in a society where we love to hide how much we are working. We glorify images of people relaxing on the beach, reading novels in the park and frolicking with family and friends.
And I understand why – I mean really – who doesn’t love a great vacation? Or going on a trip with family or friends?
And on any given day – spending the day at the park does sound nicer than doing 4 sales conversations.
But I don’t believe that – as entrepreneurs – we inherently don’t like working. And most of my clients actually love most aspects of what they do (most being the key aspect here).
It’s just that if you’re like many of the people I meet – you’re tired of trying strategies, programs, tips and tricks that don’t work. And the more you don’t hit your goals, the more your confidence and self-worth take a nosedive.
Then it becomes infinitely easier to dream about a vacation, time away and an easier way where you could just do nothing and make tons of money.
I find that when I actually get my clients on the right path – when they are generating money – and things are actually working – they actually don’t mind the work.
In fact sometimes I find that I have the opposite problem, getting clients to take time off, slow down and give themselves a break. Especially when they learn how to translate every hour of work to actual dollars!
But here’s where I think most people get confused. They stop just before doing whatever it takes.
I was just on the phone with a woman who wanted to come to one of my events. She was totally ambitious and excited to grow her business. When I asked what was blocking her – she said, “It would take me 2 hours on a train to get there.”
I was genuinely shocked that she was letting this stop her. I actually got quiet for a minute on the phone. People were flying in for this event from all over the country. Yet, she was letting a train ride get in her way.
After the call I started thinking. I realized that everyone has a different definition of doing whatever it takes. Most of us learned our definitions from watching our parents and other role models.
Sometimes we didn’t have such great role models to watch – so we watched people continually give less than they could, quit early, complain or be negative. Or we watched people give up on anything that required too much time outside their comfort zones.
My definition of doing whatever it takes and that of my successful colleagues and mentors – is that you do whatever you need to do to get closer to your goal. You sacrifice something of a lower nature to get something of a higher nature.
Last year I flew across the country to Phoenix to have a one-day VIP Day with one of my mentors and flew home that night. I wish I could have stayed – but it was either skip the day or fly in and out, as I had family needs to take care of. So I flew in and out. And it was one of the best VIP days I have done – so good that I had the whole day transcribed and read it often.
I remember for my first group program – I did 60 sales conversations in order to find 6 people for the program. I wasn’t great at sales. I was new at describing the program. So it took me a while to learn. But I didn’t stop until I hit my goal number – which was 6.
One of my colleagues called Google every single week for two years before he finally got chosen to be the massage practice for the company.
I could go on and on with examples for myself, my clients and my colleagues on examples of doing whatever it takes.
But I think we could all use introspection on this topic. Because on some level we all stop somewhere.
So I started asking myself the question, where in my life am I self-sabotaging by not doing whatever it takes to get something that I really want?
You know what came up for me? Exercise and sugar. I realized that even though I want to be healthier, I tend to use sugar and no exercise as an emotional crutch. I was doing the same thing as the lady I spoke to – just in a different area!
Since then I’ve been exercising almost daily and watching the sugar like a hawk.
Now it’s your turn…
- What do you really want in your business?
- What are your goals?
- Are you doing whatever it takes to reach them?
If not – then now is the time. One day at a time – one simple baby step after another.
Oh and let me know what you’ve realized – I’d love to hear about it in a comment. Thanks for your honesty and commitment – I love that you are in my tribe!
