Inviting Friends Who Grow With You—and Letting Go of Those Who Don’t
This week, one of my clients came to me and said, “Monica, I’ve been taking my business seriously for 14 months now. And I love it, but I’ve noticed that I’m not as close to my friends anymore, and it’s scaring me.”
She told me she was starting to feel like she just didn’t have much in common with them. Even her entrepreneur friends—a few of them seemed jealous of her success.
Can you relate to her? If you’re like most of my clients, you can.
During the first few years of your business, you’re entering a new phase of your life. You may find that certain friends and family members just don’t fit in with who you’re becoming, and that you start to drift away from them.
When you’re running a business, what isn’t always as obvious to you as it is to others is how much you shift and grow.
You become a better decision-maker. You become more confident in yourself. You become better at saying “I’m sorry.” You don’t need to be right all the time. You stop being so hard on yourself, stop being such a perfectionist.
You may find that the friends and family members you used to connect with radiate an energy that is no longer compatible with your own, and you start to move on.
Some of your friends and/or family members—especially if they’re entrepreneurs whose businesses are stagnating—may start to feel threatened by your success, whether that’s because you’re making more money or because you’re just holding yourself differently.
They might start to ask a lot of questions about what you’re doing, or start to dismiss your successes. And it just doesn’t feel good.
None of this is easy. It’s a process that evokes a lot of sadness and grief. It means letting go of people whom you’re perhaps not totally ready to let go of, or whom you didn’t think you would ever have to let go of.
If this is happening to you, I want you to know that it is normal. But you have to ask yourself: Is it worth it?
For most of you, the answer will be Yes, because the person you’re growing into is amazing and confident.
You have a business, you have clarity, you have choice; you have infinite income potential. You have the ability to spend your time any way you want to. You are creating something every day.
But if you choose to let those people go, you’re going to need to intentionally bring people into your world who match the person you are now.
A great way to do that is by going to networking events with other entrepreneurs or joining a business program. There, you’ll meet people who are playing at your level or above so that you can start to build a community that supports and inspires you.
This is incredibly important, especially in the first few years of your business, because if you don’t intentionally connect with people who are building great things just like you are, it can get lonely.
I don’t think I know anyone who wants to build a $50K or a $100K or a million dollar business and not have any friends to enjoy it with.
So for the week ahead, I challenge you to notice if there are people in your life you’re starting to shed. Maybe they’re friends you haven’t called in a while or family members you just don’t speak to as much anymore.
Without judgement or shame, try to develop an awareness of why that might be happening. And then take a moment to reach out to someone new: another entrepreneur who inspires and motivates you.
In time, you’ll form a new circle—people who are pulling you up to the next level. Your people.
Want to connect and make new friends that may end up being your people? Join us on our Facebook Group here.
