Making the Most of Your Coach: Part One
It’s my 16th year of being a full-time coach! OY! That makes me old – but it also makes me wise, if I may say so!
As a coach, one of the things that breaks my heart is meeting people at my events who have spent a ton of money on coaching, but just didn’t know how to best utilize their coach.
Over the years, I’ve coached thousands of clients and taken people from being newbies in their businesses to generating 6-figures, multiple 6-figures, and 7-figures.
My clients who got the best results were those who followed five key guidelines – I’ll share the first 3 this week, and then, next week, I’ll share the last two…
1. Participate (even when it’s hard)
Usually when you start a coaching program – you are excited! You may talk about how you are going to make the most of the experience, participate in every class, ask questions, and really show up. But then the honeymoon phase wears off.
In order to effect change in your business, you have to do things that are outside of your comfort zone – things that you hadn’t been doing before you hired your business coach – but things that you have to do now in order to make the money you want, especially since your expenses are higher.
For some people this looks like doing sales conversations. For others, it’s letting go of team members who aren’t meshing with your business. Everyone’s “hard stuff” looks different.
Usually at this phase, you want to quit.
And sometimes you do – you stop showing up for classes, start skipping calls, or stop listening to your coach.
Maybe you decide you don’t like your coach any more or start blaming her for your business not being successful enough.
Maybe you start looking at other coaches or buying other business programs – subconsciously hoping to get back into the honeymoon phase with someone else.
It is completely normal to have a love/hate relationship with your coach – or anyone who pulls you outside of your comfort zone, for that matter.
But the key is to keep showing up, no matter what. And to communicate honestly about what is going on (see point 2).
That has been the secret of my most successful clients – they just keep showing up – even when it’s hard. Even when they are scared. Even when they haven’t done the work. Even when they want to quit.
When they stick with it, we build a relationship of trust – they can lean on me to help them keep going and push them past their comfort zones, and they give me the opportunity to listen to what they need in the moment and create a nurturing, supportive environment.
T.D. Jakes once said of relationships, “You come home when you’re in love. You come home when you’re not in love.”
That’s true with your business as well.
2. Communicate Honestly
Many of my private clients have worked with me for 5 or more years. We’ve built our relationships not on perfection, but on honest communication.
If you are working with a business coach privately and find yourself feeling unhappy with the results, coaching style, pace, or content of the program – please talk to that person.
No one is telepathic – and your coach can’t read your mind. Ask to have a conversation outside of your regular coaching time. And – without blame or anger – simply state what you want.
Then you can work with your coach to find a way to create it together. Don’t be afraid of offending your coach – although that may happen.
Keep in mind that your coach may give you some advice about the parts of you where you are feeling insecure or eschewing responsibility, and how you could use a shift in your own thinking. Understand that this dialogue could actually create a radically different experience for you, and be the breakthrough that both of you need.
If you are in a group program, you most likely will not be able to shift the content of the program – but you could respectfully give that coach (or her support staff) your suggestions, speak to her team about how to best use their information for your business, or upgrade to private coaching to get a higher level of support from her.
The key is to always approach these situations not with blame or anger, but with a spirit of collaboration and a desire to make things work. Not with a desire to quit, but one to make it better.
Remember – in order to embody this energy, you can’t wait until you are at your wit’s end! You’ve got to be proactive about building a sustainable relationship with your coach and forming healthy patterns early in the process.
3. Ask Questions and Get Support OFTEN!
My private clients receive unlimited email access to me. My group clients can post an unlimited amount on Facebook and receive support from me and my coaches.
Across the board – my most successful clients are the ones that email me multiple times a week (if not daily) and/or post on Facebook multiple times a week (mostly daily).
The ability to ask questions and reach out for support does not come easily for many of my clients. Some were raised in households where it was considered weak to ask for support, or they grew up hearing that it was impolite to ask too many questions.
Some of my other clients have come to me after being in business themselves for 15 years – and they just aren’t used to asking for help with anything. They are used to making all of their decisions immediately and alone.
You could be in any of these situations. Wherever you are, know that the first step to getting help is asking for it. In order to train yourself to ask for help more often, perhaps schedule a time to email your coach every Monday and Friday so that you get in the habit of writing to her, no matter what (or posting on FB).
Another exercise I do with my clients is make a list of all the different areas where they could get support from me.
Here are some circumstances where you could use your business coach for support:
- Deciding what to spend money on
- Deciding what to do or launch next
- Hiring, training, firing, and staff issues
- Planning out what comes next
- Looking at copy – emails, sales pages, opt-in pages
- Creating copy – subject lines, headlines, names, and titles
- Working on proposals
- Brainstorming new ways to get clients
I know these steps aren’t easy or overnight miracles. They are a process for myself and every other business owner to work through. But they will make your work with your business coach so much more fruitful and way more fun!
Here’s to an amazing business coach for you, and so much success for your business!
Stay tuned for next week – I’ll be sharing the final two success strategies.
