Moving Beyond Resistance
Resistance. It’s that feeling that comes up when you don’t want to do something. For me it starts at the pit of my stomach. And as we all learn to adjust into our new quarantine/post-quarantine/hybrid lifestyle — there’s a lot of resistance coming up.
As I led our Flow Method Get it Done Day on Saturday with over 80 participants (whoo hoo!), people came face to face with their own resistance. I encouraged them to name each voice of resistance and start to dance with it, rather than fight it.
It was amazing to see the progress as each person started to not only see their personal resistance voices, but to move beyond them!
It reminded me of my own resistance story — back from the days when we could travel on airplanes without full gear on (doesn’t that seem like ages ago?).
It was a crisp day in October and I was leaving my dad’s house in Cincinnati to go to a business event with my mentor. I wanted to stay home with my dad — enjoy his homemade Indian Chai with the perfect amount of ginger, and the soft sheets of my quiet suburban bedroom for a few more nights. I wanted it more than anything.
This, my friends, is Resistance.
As I left for the airport, the 5-year-old girl in me began to say, “I don’t want to do this. It’s not fair. You work too much. I want to play.” Sometimes she yells. Sometimes she whispers. It all depends on the task at hand. This time she yelled, and stomped.
Resistance, again.
When I got to the airport, I realized I had purchased my flight for the wrong date — November 21st instead of today, October 5th. I was purchasing Thanksgiving flights at the same time and I made a mistake. Again, the little voice said, “You can go home now — see — it’s a sign!”
More resistance.
Thankfully the agent was able to pull up my ticket in the system and switch my flight, but I had to pay an extra $200. Now, the fatigue was starting to set in.
Wow — lots of resistance.
And this time the resistance was smart, saying things like, “You could go home and get more work done. You could get more sales just by getting on the phone. And you could spend the evening with your dad.”
My resistance was like a super-star lawyer in front of a jury. I physically swayed back and forth as the conversation roared in my head. I must have looked half crazy.
But there was something else at play. Commitment.
Commitment to my mentor — and the faith that being there with her would produce amazing growth for me, even if I couldn’t see it now.
Commitment to leaving my home and sharing space with other smart entrepreneurs.
Trusting that my original decision to travel to work on my business was the right decision, and the deep knowing that isolation is the enemy of wealth.
I also knew that I would be spending a week with my dad at Thanksgiving and two at Christmas. So this resistance wasn’t logical — it was just trying to keep me safe and comfortable.
You see — after years of battling resistance, I now have enough insight to recognize it. To understand when the resistance needs to be addressed — and plans changed — and when it is just another form of self-sabotage.
I write this because I see way too many folks out there giving in to their resistance. Letting it win.
The other effect of giving in to resistance is not hitting your goals. The outcome of not hitting your goals is watching your faith and self confidence crumble.
Commitment and Resistance are actually two sides of the same coin. Once you have one — the other one will inevitably come up.
The first key is to recognize your form of resistance as it comes up. What does it feel like? What does it look like? Do you feel it in your body? Or is it the voices in your head?
The second key is to determine how to act in the face of resistance. Is it worth changing plans or bowing out for the day? Or is it time to face the resistance and do it anyway?
Most of the time — you should do it anyway.
The third key is to take an action to get started on whatever you are resisting. Normally in that process of getting started, the task at hand isn’t so hard. And you’ll realize it was worth it.
That’s what happened to me by the way — the business workshop was fantastic. I was reminded of exactly what I needed to learn.
One of my spiritual teachers says that the more we recognize resistance, the more spiritually aware we are. It allows us to take a breath in the moment and make decisions based on what we actually want — not from a place of fear.
Here’s to wrestling with our resistance — and winning.
