It Just Never Seems Like Enough
Have you noticed that no matter how much you do, it just doesn’t seem like enough? You can’t seem to make enough money, get enough clients, cross enough off of your to-do list, catch up with it all. And each day you silently beat yourself up.
You’ve tried gratitude lists. You’ve tried self-appreciation. Heck you even bought yourself a massage.
But the pressure never seems to go away. It’s heavy and ever-present. And even when you do sign a new client or make that extra bit of cash, the joy is short-lived.
Many of my clients have some version of this phenomenon going on. And when I see it, I always ask these questions:
Whose approval are you trying to win?
Who are you really doing this work for?
And the answer is always the same, mom, dad, brothers, sisters, husband, wife. They are building their businesses and making money to try to win the approval of someone else in their lives. They are trying to prove something.
As long as you are trying to win appreciation or approval from someone else – there will never be enough. The pressure will always be there. And you will never truly be able to feel the sweet joy of each small success along your path.
Because the approval that you so dearly seek never comes in the form that you want it to – that response from your sister is never quite what you imagined. The look in your mom’s eyes never really happens. Once you have that success, that hard-won, “see I did it” never really gets the response you were looking for. It just doesn’t feel the way you thought it would. So you keep seeking. Always looking for more and more – but never really finding it.
The approval and appreciation you are seeking lies within you. You are the only one who can really give it to yourself the way you need it. And once you do, you can continue to approve of yourself, even when mistakes happen.
You’ll notice that when you accept yourself for who you are and stop trying to prove something to others, a peacefulness grows within you. You’ll be able to be present with your work when you are working and your family and friends when you are not. You can spend all that extra energy that you spent beating yourself up on building your business or having more fun.
I know this process is easier said than done. Here are four steps to get you started:
1. Determine what you are trying to prove and to whom. Or whose approval you so dearly seek and why.
2. Call a close friend, mentor or coach and discuss. It’s good to be aware and speak out loud about it.
3. If that family member is alive, call her. Yes, this is bold and totally worth it. Ask her how she feels about you. Nine times out of ten, she already approves of you. Listen. Take it in. Believe it. If the family member is out of touch, write her a letter. Get it all out. Then write the response from her to you (yes, channel the response). Let it flow. Read it. Take it in.
4. Before you start your day for 30 days – say out loud “Today, is for me. I do this work because I love who I am and I love who I’m becoming. Every action is one of self-love.”
I wish you all much love and peacefulness along your journey. Make this day for you.
What do you do to approve of yourself? Love this article? Let me know below!
