What Are You Thinking?
In all of my personal development classes – I think that best tool that I’ve learned is about how to be aware of the stories that we make up in our heads.
There’s nothing that can help you get through the disappointment, anger and frustration that can come up in business then to be aware of the stories that you are telling yourself.
And to be aware of the REAL truth about where those stories came from.
Let’s go through some examples.
So let’s say someone who you’d like to be partners with doesn’t call you back. You decide that your list isn’t big enough. That you aren’t worth talking to and that you need to be more successful to be seen. You stop the conversation and you don’t try to call her again.
That’s your story.
Here’s her story:
Her mom got sick. Her cat needed to go to the vet. Her launch went sideways. She simply couldn’t call you back, but she was very much interested in working with you. If you had called – she would have said yes.
Here’s another example:
You tell your partner the most exciting breakthrough you’ve had in your business in a great, but short story. He comments, “That’s great sweetheart.” You automatically think: wow – I should find someone else to tell these stories too. You stop being as open about your business.
Your story:
He doesn’t care about my business.
His story:
He just had a hard day at work because he missed a deadline. It was his fault. Your great breakthrough triggered something in him that made him feel even worse about himself. Why couldn’t he be more like you? That caused him to be ashamed and it led to a quiet response.
Here’s another one:
You’re on the phone with prospective client doing a sales conversation. She asks the question, “What is your background?” You automatically go into a long defensive explanation of your degrees and your experience. She begins to wonder about your self-confidence when you haven’t stopped talking for five minutes.
Your Story:
She doubted whether you could help her. You needed to explain as much as possible to make sure that doubt went away. You had to prove yourself.
Her Story:
She was ready to sign with you. She just thought she should ask the background question to make sure all was well. She simply needed to hear a sentence or two about your training. She was already sold.
As entrepreneurs – we face ups and downs in our businesses all the time. And we make up stories about why this is all happening.
Many of the stories just aren’t true! But it’s these stories that keep us from following up, putting ourselves out there or doing things that are uncomfortable.
The key to ending the stories:
- Catch yourself. Ask yourself – “Is this really true?” And then listen to the answer that comes from within.
- Talk to people. Ask them what they are really thinking?
- Make up a new story – think differently about the situation. There could be something else going on than what meets the eye.
Share your story with me below.
