Working Through Post-Lockdown Social Awkwardness
Feeling socially awkward as we work through post-pandemic stress?
My husband and I just got a new kitten. Her name is Luna, for the goddess of magic and the moon.
You’ll have to pardon the fact that this is the second newsletter in a row where I’ve written about her, but I believe that all animals are teachers – and Luna has a lot to teach!
We have another cat, Merlin, who is three years old. We adore him – he’s a big ball of mushiness, cuddles, and total love. We adopted Luna with the intention of giving Merlin a playmate (and, more importantly, a constant cuddle partner!).
But during their first few weeks together, we noticed that Luna’s silly, rambunctious energy just didn’t match Merlin’s mellowness. And, for the most part, he ignored her.
She would come over and try to play with him, batting her little black and white paws. Sometimes he’d entertain her by batting back a few times, but then he’d literally turn around and walk to another room.
My husband and I were quite disappointed as we watched this exchange between them fall flat over and over. Because we’d thought for sure that Merlin needed a playmate.
But then one day I realized – maybe Merlin’s forgotten how to play. He’s been alone for three years, and maybe he just needs a moment to adjust.
I think I might be right about that, because, as each day passes, he gets a little more snuggly with her – a little less impatient – and has started playing with her more and more.
Watching Merlin’s gradual transformation reminded me of where we are now in the world of the pandemic. I think many of us have forgotten how to play with each other.
I know that I, as an introvert, secretly enjoyed a lot of the space that I got over the last 18 months.
And I know that some of my extroverted friends admitted that the pandemic allowed them to find their inner introvert, allowed them to find some quiet space – a pleasant, undisturbed freedom that they hadn’t really experienced before.
But now that we’re starting to come back together, there are in-person networking events, opportunities to do speaking events and sponsorships in person, and even occasions to see friends and family in person.
If you’re anything like me, all this in-person meeting – even if it’s less interaction than we were accustomed to before the pandemic – has felt a little bit awkward.
On my first in-person VIP day with one of my private clients, I often caught myself looking off into space instead of looking directly at her.
Once, I even had to apologize for showing the wrong emotion on my face because I wasn’t conveying how excited I was about one of her celebrations.
It wasn’t that I didn’t care – it’s just that I was out of practice being present with another human being (besides my husband) for four hours straight.
My guess is that you might be having similar experiences.
Maybe some of you are feeling a bit anxious about spending long amounts of time with other entrepreneurs or even family members. Or perhaps some of you have been ready and waiting for this for almost two years.
No matter where you are, I want to let you know that you’re not alone.
If you’re feeling a bit awkward, if you’re feeling a bit nervous, if you’re feeling like you’ve forgotten how to socialize outside of the bubble you’ve been in for the last 18 months, I invite you to be patient and compassionate with yourself.
Take it slow. One hour at a time. Know that there may be moments in which you think, “I don’t know how to respond to this” or “I don’t know what to say next,” and give yourself grace when that happens.
And remember that no matter how your interactions go – awkward or not – we need human connection, and it will get easier over time. Everyone is having a hard time right now.
Here’s to all of us connecting again, learning how to play again, and finding our own inner extroverted kittens as we move forward in our businesses and lives.
I’ve posted this article over in our Facebook Group (if you haven’t joined you’ll need to answer a few questions first). I’d love for you to comment there and tell me about your own problem scenarios regarding happiness and success. Hop on over there and leave a comment and join the discussion.
