Your spouse and your business: 3 Tips to harmony
There is one question I get asked over and over again at almost all of my events: “Monica, my partner doesn’t understand why I need to invest in my business. He just doesn’t get why I can’t do it alone. We fight about it a lot. Often I just don’t even tell him how much I am spending on my business.”
Perhaps you are in this category as well. You’re so excited about your business. You haven’t quite hit all your revenue and client goals, but you are giving it 110%. And it just doesn’t seem like your partner gets it at all. You want his unconditional support and love – no matter what results are coming from your business. But you aren’t getting that support. And you feel hurt, disappointed and wondering why he can’t just love you unconditionally. Every time he says something negative – it triggers you to go into a spiral of self-doubt. And then it can take days or weeks for you to pull yourself out of it.
Here a couple of pointers to make it easier:
1. It’s Ok to disagree. As women, we love agreement. It’s very hard for us to move forward without full consensus. However, I’ve watched so many of my clients step into paying lots of money on coaching even when their partners didn’t understand. They followed my plan and starting getting great results. They then began sharing those results with their partners. It wasn’t long before their partners were on board.
If you wait until your partner is in full agreement before you invest in your business – you might never get the chance to get the support you need to create that success.
2. Create a contract. This is one of my favorite tools! Let’s say you would like to invest in your business. Perhaps you’d like to hire a coach or hire an assistant. And your partner is totally opposed to you spending money. Here’s what to do to find some common ground.
You create a contract between the two of you – an actual physical piece of paper that you both sign.
Here’s the agreement. He agrees to either not talk about your business, or say only nice things for six months until a specified date. You agree to give your business 110% and attempt to bring in X amount of money or X clients (decided between the two of you). You set a date in six months.
On that day you’ll sit down and have an evaluation conversation. At that point, he can speak his mind about your business – and you can respond.
This agreement gives you room to operate freely without having to talk your partner into every decision you make. It also gives you solid accountability to someone you care about – which will keep you in action.
3. Understand that men LOVE results. Women love to support one another through the process no matter what the results are. Therefore, the best thing that you can do is really focus on success in your business. Then share your great results with him. Once he starts seeing you get clients and make money – he’ll start to get excited with you.
When you need unconditional support no matter what, go to your female friends.
Note, this doesn’t mean he only loves you when he sees results, though it is easy to take it that way. It’s just that he is hard wired to protect you. His way of protecting you is to stop you from putting your time and energy into something that he doesn’t think will work.
Talking about money with those that you love is often tricky. Using the three tips above should make it easier. Remember this – there’s no better way to get your partner on board then to use your money to buy him something special. So when in doubt – keep generating revenue – that way you can show him just how great investing in your business really is.
