Part 3: Women and Money: The Woman’s Role
I’m thrilled to be writing a series on women entrepreneurs and money — because I’m committed to putting more money in women’s hands. I’m pretty certain the world will look like a much better place when we do.
In case you missed the previous parts — you can grab them here:
Part 1: The Mess We’re In With Money: Why We Struggle To Keep The Money We Make
Part 2: Women and Money: The Prince Syndrome
In this article — I’d like to talk about the various roles we played as women growing up, using stories from some of my clients. The names have been changed.
Kat’s Story:
Kat had two brothers, one older and one younger. Her mom worked as a nurse and her dad had what she described as “some office job.” She remembers her dad working with her brothers on homework and college, but not really caring so much about her work. He was very keen on her getting married and “finding the right guy.” Also, he would refer to her options for work as a nurse or a teacher. Kat became a teacher.
When she came to me, she had started a pet food business. But she was terrified of asking for money and twice had already accepted an arrangement for her food distribution where she lost money. She had a voice in her head that said, “Women don’t ask for money. Women don’t run businesses.”
Keep in mind that her father and mother never said those things. And they were excited and supportive of her business currently.
For Kat, these voices existed because of what she experienced in her home and the mind puts things together in unique and mysterious ways.
When we brought these voices to light, she created a new money voice, “Women were born to be business owners and make abundant amounts of income.” It wasn’t overnight, but when she started acting from this place, her business boomed.
There are so many women I’ve met who grew up in houses where women had certain roles. Whether it was outwardly stated or not — it existed. Many women also “served” the males in their homes — doing the laundry, cooking and cleaning for their brothers and fathers.
Perhaps you resonate with these circumstances — and whether intended or not — you are less confident in your abilities to run a business, deal with numbers and ask for money. In fact many of the women I work with in these situations simply wish they didn’t have to deal with the money aspect of their businesses at all.
But it can get better — and you don’t have to brute force it! Know that awareness and choice are key here. Ask yourself the questions:
- What was it like being a woman in my household (and extended family households)?
- How did the men think and talk about money, power and careers?
- How did the women think and talk about money, power and careers?
You might find yourself realizing why you resist asking for money. Or why it’s so hard when people have objections during sales conversations. Your underlying beliefs may conflict with necessary business actions like doing sales conversations, getting new clients, sending invoices, and negotiating contracts.
While there’s nothing inherently wrong with any of this, it can lead to certain money voices in your head like:
- “Women don’t make good money.”
- “Women shouldn’t have to ask for money.”
- “I can’t make lots of money.”
- “Women don’t take care of the money.”
- “I can’t do man’s work.”
- “I’m not as smart as a man.”
- “I’m not good at numbers.”
Once you are aware of the voices in your head, it’s time to create new ones. We focus deeply on this work at my Master Your Money event. So if this conversation is striking a chord — please come join us — as the work we do in person is extraordinary.
Here are some new identities and voices that you can begin to adopt:
- “I am a powerful money-maker.”
- “I’m a successful, million-dollar business owner.”
- “I am capable of learning and doing anything.”
Remember as you do this work — the outcome doesn’t just come from doing the mantras — that’s really only 30% of it. The outcome comes from going deep within yourself to find out where and how the beliefs were created. Once you get that part — you’d be surprised about how quickly you can shift them. It’s like cleaning out a drawer — you find the stuff that doesn’t work and chuck it out. Suddenly it becomes very easy to fill it with useful and easy to find items.
